Archive (2022)Health4 min read

When Does Help Stop Being Help?

Doctors, therapists, and other experts can help us. But when does help stop being help and become handing over responsibility for ourselves?

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TL;DR · Executive summary
  • Along with the problem, we often hand over to the expert the responsibility for solving it – and then just wait for the answer.
  • The Flexner Report (1910) helped build quality medicine, but also shifted health almost entirely into the hands of institutions.
  • The body constantly provides us with information – the problem is that we have learned to ignore it very effectively.
  • A healthy relationship with experts is neither blind obedience nor rejection – it is collaboration.
  • We don't need to take power away from experts. We just need to stop handing over our own.

When something hurts, we go to a doctor. When we want to lose weight, we look for a nutritionist. When we want to start exercising, we find a trainer.

It makes sense. Experts have knowledge and experience that we lack.

Sometimes, however, along with the problem we hand over something else to the expert: the responsibility for solving it.

“Tell me what to do.”

And then we just wait for the answer.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder whether – with all the advantages of modern medicine and the abundance of available experts – we have learned to trust ourselves too little.

Not instead of experts.

Alongside them.

Medicine Has Not Always Looked Like This

The way we approach health today may seem self-evident. It is not.

At the beginning of the 20th century, various medical traditions coexisted side by side – from the emerging scientific medicine to homeopathy, naturopathy, and other traditional approaches.

A major turning point was the Flexner Report of 1910. It advocated stricter medical education grounded in science, laboratory research, and clinical practice. This brought an enormous increase in the quality of medicine.

At the same time, however, many other medical traditions gradually lost their place, and health increasingly moved into the hands of professionally trained experts and institutions.

And here an interesting question arises:

When we learned to trust expert knowledge more, did we also begin to hand over to experts a share of the responsibility that belongs to us?

What Is My Body Telling Me?

When I do not feel well, I can of course try to get rid of the unpleasant symptom. Sometimes that is exactly what I need.

But I can also ask another question:

Why do I not feel well?

Maybe I have slept too little in recent weeks. Maybe I have been under prolonged stress. Maybe I am not moving enough, eating poorly, or have not allowed myself real rest for months.

The point is not to diagnose myself or to look for a hidden emotional problem behind every symptom.

The point is not to lose curiosity about my own body.

When a sick animal in the wild does not feel well, it does not complain or seek an outside authority. It withdraws, stops eating, limits movement. It turns its attention inward. Humans used to function similarly – they slowed down, rested, listened to their bodies. Today our first reaction is different: we want to eliminate the symptom quickly and carry on.

Yet the body constantly provides us with information. Fatigue. Tension. Pain. Hunger. Fullness. Energy. Unease.

The problem is that we have learned to ignore these signals very effectively.

Tired? Coffee.

Headache? A pill.

Stressed? We will push through a little longer.

Sometimes that solution is perfectly fine. The problem arises when it becomes the only way we communicate with our bodies.

Taking Responsibility for Our Own Health

Modern medicine can do things that would have been unimaginable just a few generations ago. If I break my leg, I do not want my intuition advising me how to fix it. I want a good doctor.

But even the best doctor does not live in my body.

They do not know exactly how I sleep. What my days look like. What I eat, how I move, how I handle stress, or what is going on in my life outside the clinic.

They see only part of the picture.

I have the opposite problem. I know my life, but I lack their expert knowledge.

Why should one exclude the other?

Perhaps a healthy relationship with experts is neither blind obedience nor rejection.

It is collaboration.

The expert brings their knowledge. I bring knowledge of myself.

I ask questions. I try to understand the options. If needed, I seek a second opinion. And ultimately I accept responsibility for a decision that concerns my body and my life.

Responsibility Is Harder Than Obedience

There is something very comfortable about handing a decision to someone else.

If someone tells me what to do, I do not have to bear the uncertainty of choosing.

But taking responsibility for my health does not mean I have to understand everything or handle everything on my own.

It means being an active participant.

I can notice how sleep, food, movement, work, or stress affect me.

I can track recurring problems and the circumstances in which they arise.

I can ask my doctor why they recommend a particular treatment, what its benefits, risks, and alternatives are.

And I can explore the simple things that are in my own hands – movement, rest, food, time outdoors, meditation, or working with stress – without assuming that any of this automatically replaces medicine.

All of that is also taking care of my health.

Listening to Experts and to Ourselves

We do not have to reject doctors, science, or modern medicine in order to start trusting ourselves more.

And we do not have to blindly trust our own intuition in order to start taking it seriously.

We can do both.

Listen to experts and listen to ourselves at the same time.

Because perhaps we do not need to take power away from experts.

We just need to stop handing over our own.